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Doctors suspect that the Prime Minister David Cameron, may be suffering from a little-known medical disorder known by experts as ‘Tory’ Syndrome, a disease characterised by knee-jerk populist reactions to problems, right-wing tics and highly offensive verbal outbursts against those worse off than they are.
There is no known cure for the illness, although it is thought the disorder may be spread by contact with a deadly bacteria known as Ruperteria Murdochoccus and can also be made worse by excessive exposure to the Sun. Some experts believe it could also be picked up and passed from person to person by unprotected handling of the Mail.
However, experts believe Mr Cameron may only be one of many in the public eye, especially in the field of politics, who suffer from the disorder. As one medical expert explained:
Although it is known there are many people from all fields of life who suffer from the syndrome, politics seems to be the profession which attracts the most sufferers. You only have to look at the government front-benches to see it is full of involuntary knee-jerk reactions and offensive outbursts, especially at Prime Minister’s Question Time.
Other famous sufferers are said to include the TV presenter, Jeremy Clarkson, who is well know for his uncontrollable racist and offensive outbursts, even on television. A spokesperson for the BBC explained this is why he has never been sacked for his on-air verbal tantrums:
As an equal opportunities employer, the BBC is sensitive to the needs of disabled people like Jeremy Clarkson that’s why we are willing to forgive him constantly making moronic, immature, idiotic schoolboy jokes when he’s on air. It’s got absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he’s a friend and next-door neighbour of the Prime Minister who keeps threatening to take away our TV licence fee and hand it over to Murdoch instead. No it hasn’t. Really.
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Please feel free to comment – you don’t need to register and I’m extremely minimal with the moderating – so fire away.
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warriet said:
Theodore Dalrymple. a renowned international expert has said that this is very exciting news, that this is not one of those Communist syndromes but that it is further proof of a new phase of evolution in which natural leaders come to the fore as they are recognised as The New Men who will be saving us all from all the pinkos that have so damaged our society
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Dee Willis said:
Tom Pride you are a bloody genius. You should win a prize!!! You never fail to make me laugh, just as I’m in such a hypertensive state about the govenment, an email from you pings into my inbox & then down comes my blood pressure! Laughter is the best medicine, but only with your name attached to the therapeutic article!
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Tom Pride said:
Thanks Dee – glad to be of service.
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Tom Pride said:
Ah yes dear old Theodore – his view that an underclass afflicted by endemic violence, criminality, sexually transmitted diseases, welfare dependency, and drug abuse in rich countries is due to being too liberal.
I agree with his thesis entirely – if I replace the word ‘liberal’ with ‘right-wing’ – it works perfectly for me.
Despite the fact he’s an idiot.
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warriet said:
Yes and he is worse than idiot in that he is paid to express his lunatic view and consulted as an ‘expert’, the system has failed in that he was allowed to leave the hospital in Birmingham, the experience of which seems to supply the ‘evidence’ for his views on the underclass. Failure is that he is not still there, held definitely under Section 3.
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Patricia Farrington said:
A very funny piece Tom as ever! You nailed the creepy sniveller precisely. We should pity the Bullingdon lot as their circle of pals is so limited that they are unaware of the rest of us….they just don’t notice us. A bit like annoying insects always there but faded out in the background of conciousness.
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vivien bartlett said:
Your satire rocks!
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Tom Pride said:
Yeah but annoying insects who happen to be in charge of everything at the moment.
Lucky for us we’ve got that Nick Clegg to protect us from them, isn’t it?
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warriet said:
Clegg is eminently mockable but I dread to think how much worse it would be without the LibDems but thy’ll be gone soon. back under the rock as soon as they are held to account for their contributions to Cameron’s misdeeds
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Tom Pride said:
Without the LDs, the Tories wouldn’t be able to do anything because they don’t have an overall majority. I have no sympathy at all with them I’m afraid.
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warriet said:
Absolutely fair point, senior moment forgetting my recent history (slaps wrists), they were seduced by the Tory offers of power and the trappings of high office – pity they did not have enough sense to coalesce with Labour. Brown would have stepped aside as a condition and his vision of a socially democratic Britain would have prevailed and he and Merkel would have handled whatever came up in the interests of all the people. ;-(
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sciamachy said:
The kneejerk reactions aren’t peculiar to the Tories, mind – remember how Labour banned substances without first ascertaining whether they were harmful or not, and how they sacked Prof. Nutt when he showed how nuts their drug policy was, based on actual scientific research on harm from drugs?
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Tom Pride said:
The illness is obviously infectious.
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sciamachy said:
Yes, seems Mr Blair gave Labour a dose of Tory clap-
trap…
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Tom Pride said:
Ha. Tory claptrap. That’s good.
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golfartie said:
class
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Hindle-a said:
I have pinched this from a comment on Facebook-
Testiculating: What Cameron does when he’s on TV or addressing the ‘people’, it is the art of waving your hands about and talking bollocks at the same time.
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Tom Pride said:
Brilliant. I wish I’d said that. But I will…. 😉
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Kashika Vohra said:
Howdy just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let
you know a few of the images aren’t loading properly. I’m not sure
why but I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different web browsers and both show the same results.
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