Here’s one which might be sneaking in under the radar:

Contained inside the government’s free school funding contracts there is a strict ruling which specifically bans the use of ‘inappropriate materials’ when teaching children about sex and makes endorsement of marriage compulsory in a clause numbered, unbelievably …… 28!

(*see comment at bottom)


Tom Pride reports:


The Education Secretary, Michael Gove, has said he wanted to allay fears of a return to the homophobia of previous Tory administrations by placing his new anti-gay legislation in a completely different clause number from the one introduced under Margaret Thatcher’s government. He explained:

We understand there may be concerns but the clause in our legislation banning promotion of relationships other than in marriage will be a completely different number from that which banned promotion of relationships other than in marriage in the 1980s.

Mr Gove went on to say that the government was consulting with interested groups to find a clause number which would be acceptable to everyone:

The modern Conservative Party is a very different beast from the 1980s. Unlike our predecessors, we are prepared to consult with anyone in order to ensure that all groups in society are satisfied with the final number of the clause. We are willing to consider any number, without regard to its sex, race or sexual orientation, for example 27, 12 or even 3.


*This paragraph is completely true – hard as it may be to believe – even the numbering coincidence. The rest of the article is satire.

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