The Adam Smith Institute, a respected right-wing economic think-tank, is backing the coalition government’s decision to drastically reduce subsidies for solar power, saying the sun’s policy of providing sunshine for free is commercially unsustainable and could result in bankruptcy for the stellar body.

The statement comes as the government denied accusations that their decision to make savage cuts to solar energy subsidies was in any way connected to the fact that the sun is the only major energy provider never to have made a donation to the Conservative Party.

A party spokesperson admitted that other energy suppliers such as oil, coal and gas conglomerates had made large donations to the Tory Party, but denied the lack of donations from the sun and other natural producers of power such as the wind and waves had in any way influenced government energy policy:

Many other stars, such as Gary Barlow and Phil Collins, have donated substantial amounts to the Conservative party, so obviously we were hoping to get something from the sun too. However, the fact we have received nothing at all from it, while coal, oil and gas producers have been paying obscene amounts into our party coffers, has nothing to do with our decision not to back solar power. Obviously.

In its statement, the Adam Smith Institute described the sun’s business philosophy of providing sunlight for free to all as ‘naive’ and a spokesperson suggested other natural energy producers such as the wind and waves could also face financial ruin if they continued with what they called their ‘bizarre’ philosophy of not trying to make obscene amounts of money by ripping off their customers:

The sun’s decision to shine for free, not to mention the wind’s insistence on not charging anybody anything at all to blow, goes against all reliable business models of power distribution, which generally involve controlling the means of distribution and production so the consumer can more easily be ripped off at leisure. Our studies have shown that a business model based on free distribution to everyone without substantial amounts of exploitation of anyone cannot be sustained for long. That is why the government is right in its reluctance to risk taxpayers’ money on the sun and the wind which are clearly unsustainable and unlikely to survive for long in today’s economic climate.

In a statement by the opposition on the government’s energy policies, a spokesperson for Labour said their party had also not received any donations from the sun or the wind but admitted they were hoping for some support in the near future:

We’re a bit stuck for cash at the moment so we’re hoping the sun will decide to come out in support of us at the bring and buy sale we’ve got planned in Bridlington at the weekend.


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