Doctors studying the bizarre behaviour exhibited by the Chancellor George Osborne in recent months have diagnosed him as possibly suffering from a very rare pathological disorder characterised by a strong desire by patients to blame others for their own actions – but are concerned he doesn’t seem to be seeking any help to cure it.
The disease, known as ‘Hysteric Austeria’ is characterised by an uncontrollable need by the sufferer to cause austerity and unprovoked suffering to others and also causes those afflicted with the condition to unknowingly do exactly the opposite of what they should be doing in their everyday speech and actions.
As one medical expert explained:
Hysteric Austeria, commonly know as ‘hysterity’ is a very serious disorder which – left untreated – can cause immeasurable suffering to huge numbers of people. In this case it is obvious that George Osborne feels an uncontrollable need to cause austerity in a manner which could definitely be described as hysterical, and I advice the chancellor to seek help at the earliest opportunity before he causes any more suffering.
This diagnosis could explain the bizarre behaviour Mr Osborne has been displaying recently. Experts had been wondering for some time now why the Chancellor has been making strange decisions such as raising VAT when quite clearly it should be lowered, deliberately causing a contraction of the economy when growth is obviously needed and has been talking optimistically about the economy when it is obviously heading for a car crash of catastrophic proportions.
There were also warnings from medical experts that the condition seems to be spreading to other members of the coalition government, especially those who were previously thought to have been immune to such illnesses because they were thought to mainly affect people of a right-wing mentality. The expert explained:
Doctors have been monitoring a very worrying development in the current outbreak of the illness where people who have never shown traces of hysterical austerity before are now displaying marked symptoms of the illness. We believe the illness could have mutated and become highly contagious and is now affecting people such as Liberal Democrats who were previously thought to have been immune to the condition.
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