Tags

, , ,

Scotland Yard says plastic bullets will be renamed ‘baton rounds’  in an attempt to prevent disorder from breaking out in the capital during the latest round of student fees protests. A spokesperson for the Metropolitan Police said:

During the last student protests police officers were faced with children as young as 13 years old. This time, in recognition that children must be treated with care, we have decided not to shoot them with rubber bullets but to rename them and shoot them with ‘baton rounds’ instead.

In the same initiative, truncheons will be renamed ‘lollipops’ for Wednesday’s protests and police horses will be known as ‘pogo sticks’.

Trained officers will be free to shoot children with baton rounds while police officers on pogo sticks will attempt to use lollipops to control 10,000 young protesters who are planning to march through London on Wednesday to voice their anger over tuition fees and cuts. The Metropolitan Police spokesperson also added:

Other changes we are implementing before the protests are for handcuffs to be renamed candy floss, Taser stun guns to be called tickling sticks and water cannons to be known as whoopee cushions.

.

Please feel free to comment – you don’t need to register and I’m extremely minimal with the moderating – so fire away: