(a bit sarcastic maybe – but probably not satire)
UPDATE – yet more evidence that Liam isn’t gay. He can’t be because he’s 100% against gay marriage! (not sure what his position on gay best men is though).
The Ex-Defence Secretary, Dr Liam Fox – who had to resign after it was revealed he was letting his close friend and former flat-mate Adam Werritty accompany him on official MOD visits – is still fighting insinuations about his sexuality.
This disgusting and cheap intrusion into his personal life is completely unacceptable. Because we all know what this story is really about. It’s an attempt by his lefty media enemies to stoke up the felatious rumours that have been disemenated over the years about his sexuality.
I can, however, cocker these disgusting innuendos once and for all.
I can confirm that Liam Fox is absolutely, definitely, not gay.
For a start, while at Glasgow University in the early 1980s, Fox resigned his position on the university’s Students Representative Council in protest at the council passing a motion condemning the decision of the university’s Glasgow University Union not to allow a gay students society to join the union.
Here’s a direct quote from him at the time:
I’m actually quite liberal when it comes to sexual matters. I just don’t want the gays flaunting it in front of me, which is what they would do.
Nothing in the least bit ‘gay’ about his position on that, is there?
Not only that, but Dr Fox has also stated that he has “big reservations” about homosexual marriage.
And according to some reports, he was also romantically involved with Natalie Imbruglia, which means he must be a really fast worker because apparently they only actually met once for about 5 minutes.
And he’s also married.
So he can’t be gay.
Because if he was gay, he’d have to be a huge hypocrite and we know he can’t be that because he’s an honourable man who always stands by his principles.
For example, he’s stated he’s against abortion because the bible tells him it’s wrong to kill:
For me it’s a simple personal belief. It says, “thou shall not kill”, it doesn’t say, thou shall not kill unless Parliament says it’s OK.
That’s why as a matter of conscience you can be sure he’d never in a million years have anything to do with anything which involved killing – such as accept the position of Defence Secretary for example.
Oh, wait a minute ……