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(satire?)

The announcement that the murder of a young British soldier in Woolwich was the work of men police believe were British-born Londoners sparked fears of a backlash against cockneys and eastenders yesterday.

As the direction of the  investigation became clear, a parallel operation was launched by police chiefs to brief community leaders in the capital and prepare for reprisal attacks on anyone expressing a liking for jellied eels or looking like they were born within the sound of Bow bells.

Police say that since Wednesday’s horrific events, police have recorded 30 hate crime incidents against the cockney and mockney community, including an attack on a man wearing an I ♥ London T-shirt and criminal damage to a pie and mash shop.

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Well it’s just as ridiculous as blaming all Muslims for the tragic events in Woolwich, isn’t it?

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