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(satire – probably)

Witches across the country are expressing their outrage after left-wing critics of Baroness Thatcher – who died of a stroke on Monday at the age of 87 – have tried to compare them to the former prime minister.

One prominent witch explained the reasons why they have taken such offence at the comparison:

Under her premiership Margaret Thatcher was responsible for the break-up of communities right across the country, the loss of millions of jobs, three recessions, the sell-off of public utilities resulting in higher prices for gas, electricity and water, the criminalisation of homosexuality, higher rates of crime, the creation of a huge gap between the rich and the poor, outsourcing of health and education to the detriment of both, a massive polarisation of society, deregulation of the banks leading to the present economic crisis, the sinking of the Argentinian ship the General Belgrano while it was withdrawing from the combat zone resulting in the loss of 323 men, politicisation of the police, the widespread destruction of working people’s rights, destruction of the country’s manufacturing industries, higher imports, support for brutal dictatorships like Pol Pot, Apartheid and Pinochet, a massive rise in prices for public transport along with a corresponding reduction in quality of service, a massive loss of social housing, an increase in child poverty to one of the highest amongst industrialised nations, the poll tax, the worship of selfishness and materialism and last but not least she snatched milk from the mouths of school children.

We witches on the other hand just like to dance around fires, keep black cats and whiz about on a broomstick occasionally.

How fair is that?

In a related development, female dogs have also expressed displeasure at being compared to former prime ministers and politicians.

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

UK SINGLES CHART UPDATE – ‘Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead’ in at nr 10

Criticism as MPs mass debate over Lady Thatcher

Parliament to be privatised in Thatcher’s memory

Osborne claims Thatcher “over the worst” and well on way to “full recovery”

Fury as Lady Thatcher is accused of trying to bury bad economic news by dying

Government scraps plans for society to pay for Thatcher funeral after realising it doesn’t exist

Government mulls plans to put politicians into plain packaging

Minimum price plan to end cheap sales of Lib Dem MPs

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