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(satire – possibly)

The UN should aim to drastically reduce the numbers of people living in extreme poverty worldwide by allowing richer nations to bomb them with unmanned drones more easily, David Cameron said at the close of a UN conference called to set out the world’s next development goals.

Mr Cameron also said the primary aim of the new UN goals should be to provide aid and assistance to governments of impoverished nations so they will be able to kill off their poorest citizens much more efficiently and quickly than they can at present.

The prime minister stressed that – while eradication of world poverty was possible within our generation – it would require much more responsible killing of poor people by the richest countries of the world, including greater transparency of collateral damage to civilians.

To illustrate Britain’s commitment in the fight against extreme poverty, Mr Cameron announced a string of measures to help alleviate poverty in some of the most impoverished countries in North Africa – measures which include bombing their villages from the sky with unmanned drones and selling their governments even more sophisticated arms to kill them with.

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