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(satire – probably)

A secret plot to wipe out up to 5,300 British troops by a brutal Al Qaeda cell based in central London has been uncovered, according to the Ministry of Defence.

The terrorist group – led by a ruthless leader known only by his nom-de-guerre of ‘Daf I D’Qam Eron’ – is said to be creaming off millions of pounds in crooked payments from a small cabal of corrupt government officials based in the country’s remote capital of Chipping Norton and has drawn up plans to attack UK armed forces and eradicate as many as 20,000 soldiers, navy and airforce personnel by 2017.

The shocking terrorist plot comes only months after another sinister Al Qaeda splinter group – known as G4S – claimed significant success last summer after it succeeded in pinning down thousands of British troops in the impoverished and forbidding south-east of the country known as Stratford province after the UK government had to deploy thousands of extra troops to counter the threat of terrorism there.

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

West Mulls Military Strikes Against IKEA

Rooftop missiles to target suspicious bus and tube passengers during Olympic Games

Serious Breach Of Security As Worker Smuggles Can of Pepsi Into Olympic Park

Al Qaeda affiliate G4S pins down thousands of UK troops in remote Stratford province

G4S Embassy Guards Sacked By US Government For Drinking Vodka Out Of Each Others’ Bottoms. Not satire – it’s true!

Oh dear! G4S were in charge of security at airport which let 9/11 hijackers slip through.

MoD Accused Of Abusing People’s Civil Rights While Killing Them

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