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(satire)

A couple have had three foster children removed from their care after social workers from the local authority discovered they were from Yorkshire and openly supported Rotherham United Football Club.

Council officials said not all the children they were looking after were “indigenous white northerners” and that it had concerns not only about the couple’s support of a crap football club but also their stances on controversial issues such as putting gravy on chips and whether a mid-day meal should be referred to as lunch or dinner.

‘Dumbfounded’

The couple – who have been approved foster parents for seven years – were eight weeks into the placement when they were approached by social workers about their support of Rotherham – a club so rubbish its attendances are often below 4,000.

The wife told the Daily Telegraph:

I was dumbfounded. Then my question to both of them was, ‘I know we regularly get beaten by the likes of Accrington Stanley and Wycombe Wanderers but what has my support of The Millers got to do with having the children removed?’

One of them said, ‘Well, Rotherham are crap.’ The implication was that we were supporting a crap team. Which obviously is true but not every foster parent can be lucky enough to be a supporter of Man United, can they?

The paper says the woman denied she ever forced the children in her care to be exposed to such painfully bad defending or encouraged them to eat mushy peas and keep pigeons but the children were taken away by the end of the week anyway.

A spokesperson for the education secretary Michael Gove said he will be investigating how the decision to remove the children came to be made:

Clearly we should not allow considerations of ethnic or cultural background to prevent children being placed with loving and stable families.

However, let’s face it, Rotherham really are very very crap, aren’t they?

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Related articles by Tom Pride on this subject:

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Children in danger of not being seen as clocks go back 150 years and government car crashes mount

Scotland Yard – Children To Be Shot With Baton Rounds Not Rubber Bullets

BBFC – Michael Gove ‘too scary’ for under-12s

Public displays of poverty and disability to be banned

David Cameron leaves 4 million children behind after pub visit

Scientists Confirm Deniers Were Right – Global Disability Is A Hoax!

‘Tory’ Syndrome – symptoms include knee-jerk reactions and offensive outbursts

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