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(satire)

One of the UK’s most successful songwriters, Gary Barlow has been made an OBE in the Queen’s birthday honours for his charity work helping unemployed elderly royalty.

Gary and fellow charity worker Cheryl Cole helping some poor people by holding hands

In a statement, Gary said:

I’m absolutely thrilled and feel very privileged to be in the company of so many brilliant people a few of whom have even had to do some real charity work to get their OBE.

I enjoy every minute of the work I do helping disadvantaged elderly royals, with a lot of it being a reward in itself, so for somebody to decide I should get recognised for doing virtually nothing except be sycophantic to the right people a lot is just amazing.

Gary with some of the disadvantaged people he’s been helping

A friend of Gary expressed delight at the honour and praised him for his hard work helping those even better off than himself:

I’m not at all surprised he’s been honoured like this - Gary donates a lot of his own time to being sycophantic – even though he doesn’t need to. Recently he helped organise some entertainment for a group of elderly royals when he spent a good half an hour at least calling round his friends like Elton John and Cliff Richard asking them if they’d like some free publicity by doing a turn.

Gary helping an unemployed youth

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

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Prince Philip admitted to hospital as a precautionary measure against having to watch Gary Barlow in concert

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Queen Hits Out At Cruel Tyrants By Inviting Them For Lunch

Major European Royals in Turmoil as ‘Lazy’ Greek Faces Palace Exit

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